


Gone With The Summer

by thecryptictaxi



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Cancer, Clint Barton & Natasha Romanov Friendship, Gen, Hurt No Comfort, Natasha Romanov Angst, Natasha Romanov Feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-12
Updated: 2019-10-12
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:22:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21766774
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thecryptictaxi/pseuds/thecryptictaxi
Summary: Terminal cancer.It's hilarious, really. The number of times she has brushed too close to death is impossible to count, and out of everything, she gets cancer. It's the one thing that she can't beat.She's tried. But she only has six weeks left.She's not going to tell anyone, because goddamnit, she wants her family to be happy for as long as possible.
Relationships: Clint Barton & Natasha Romanov
Comments: 12
Kudos: 61





	Gone With The Summer

Terminal cancer.

It's hilarious, really. The number of times she has brushed too close to death is impossible to count, and out of everything, she gets cancer. It's the one thing that she can't beat.

She's tried. But she only has six weeks left.

She's not going to tell anyone, because goddamnit, she wants her family to be happy for as long as possible.

_week one_

Natasha finishes up her will. She doesn't have much, but everything she has is important to her.

All of her books go to Tony. Most of them are in Russian. She runs her finger down the spine of the books she had been forced to read in the Red Room. The stories are just painful reminders. But she knows that Tony will like them. And maybe it would even improve his Russian, too. His understanding of the language is atrocious, Natasha thinks wryly.

Her favorite music box goes to Steve. It was gifted to her by Yelena, another survivor of the Red Room. The ballerina spins gracefully to Swan Lake, her long, slender legs in battement. It's another bittersweet memory. She remembers the times when she was forced to dance hours on end until sweat covered her entire body and her feet bled through the pointe shoes. She could barely breathe and her entire body ached and she was in so much pain. But she loved it. Each leap took her away from her cruel ballet instructor, away from the unforgiving wooden floor, and away from the Red Room. Each turn helped her escape the horrors of the academy. Each kick released the anger and fear from her mind.

To Bruce, she leaves him her piano. He has always gone on about learning an instrument, and Natasha saw him stare longingly at her antique piano on multiple occasions. Maybe the music can calm the Hulk down as well.

She doesn't quite know what to give to Thor, but she decides on her silver pendant. It's the one that he points out often. It's old and ragged, but it's beautiful. Her memory of it is hazy. It's perhaps the only thing she has from her life before the Red Room. She cherishes it.

She leaves her safe house to Fury, hoping that he would use it as a sanctuary or headquarters for future and current SHIELD members.

And as for Clint, she leaves everything else to him, including her collection of pointe shoes.

_week two_

Natasha takes Clint, Laura, and the kids to Disneyland. She's never been there before, and Clint says that it's a crime. They take one of Tony's private jets to California and check into a hotel just fifteen minutes away from Disneyland and two blocks from the beach.

The afternoon they land, they go to the beach.

The kids jump into the ocean excitedly, and Natasha watches on, fondness written all over her face.

"This feel pretty great," Clint says as he lays down a picnic blanket on the sand. "It's been a while since we've had a family vacation."

"Yeah," Laura agrees. "We should go on these more often. What about around Christmas time?"

Natasha just smiles. She won't be around that long. She'll be gone with the summer.

"Auntie Nat!" Cooper shouts from the waves. "Come swim with us!"

"You coming?" she asks Clint and Laura as she gets up.

"Of course."

By the end of the day, their lips are blue from being in the cold water for too long, and their fingertips are wrinkled. Their teeth are chattering as they wrap large blankets around their salt soaked bodies. When they get back to the hotel, they fall asleep almost instantly.

The Bartons and Natasha go to Disneyland the next day. They stand in line before the park opens and walks in as the clock strikes nine. There are fewer people than Natasha expected at first, but within the hour, the park becomes packed as happy families flood in through the gate. The family buys Mickey Mouse ears and cotton candy and cinnamon flavored churros.

They get in line for some type of Star Wars ride that the kids were adamant on going on, and Natasha and Clint get noticed twice. Clint is slightly annoyed that their family trip being interrupted, but Natasha smiles kindly at the fans and signs the back of their entrance tickets. She knows that it could easily be the last time she does so.

A dozen rides and an unhealthy amount of junk food later, she and the Barton family settle onto a bench to watch the fireworks. It's magical, and she can't help it as a tear rolls down her cheek. She wipes it off before anyone can see, although the chances of anyone seeing a single tear through the dark is very unlikely.

She wraps an arm around Clint and another around Lila, trying to ignore the fact that she will never be able to see this again.

_week three_

She goes on one last SHIELD mission. She lets Fury know that she wants to use her vacation days after the mission. He doesn't ask why, and she's glad, because the excuse she has prepared is a bit far-fetched. She doesn't think she can handle another lie, especially to Fury.

The mission he gives her is simple. Below her pay grade, even. But she doesn't say anything, because she doesn't know if she can handle any rough housing. So agrees. A basic extraction: retrieve the item and leave.

She is in a cafe in Mexico City.

"Uno café negro, please," she butchers her Spanish as to sound like a clueless tourist. 

When the coffee arrives, she thanks the waiter and leaves him a tip of exactly four dollars and four cents. The waiter's posture changes automatically, although only a skilled eye could spot it.

Natasha stays for a while longer, sipping her coffee and reading a tourist manual. Then, she calls the waiter over again and asks for a coffee and cinnamon crossaint, to go. He comes back with it three minutes later.

She gets into the pre-arranged "cab" and nods at the driver. There are a few cars tailing them, but they arrive at the airport safely. She gives the coffee to the driver and gets out of the car, a small slip of paper in hand.

Mission completed.

_week four_

Natasha is getting sicker by the week. The aspirin and Motrin aren't as effective anymore.

When she goes to the hospital, she is given prescription medicine and told to stay in bed rest.

But she has so much to do. She has three weeks left, and she wants to make the best out of it. So she and Steve go to the gym as usual. She doesn't have enough strength to train properly, but she stretches. Steve asks her why she isn't working out, and she just replies with her signature smirk.

Afterward, they go out for lunch. It's Steve's turn to choose, and he picks the dreaded vegan restaurant, as he usually does. Natasha doesn't complain this time, even though the food tastes like grass. She does make a face at him, though, but Steve chooses to ignore it.

"You know, Steve," Natasha smiles, "I was planning a trip to Canada for my vacation. Do you want to come?"

"Canada? When is this?"

"Next week," she replies. "Thor's coming, too, and Clint."

"I don't know. I'll check my schedule. I think I can make it?"

"Okay."

"This isn't a plot to kidnap me, right?" he jokes. 

She gasps dramatically. "You would think that low of me? If I were to kidnap you, I would do that while you're sleeping. You could sleep through a thunder storm; you wouldn't even notice me gagging you."

"You watch me sleep?"

Natasha simply mumbles in response, and they laugh together. Natasha feels a pang in her chest.

_week five_

Natasha is sick, and she looks the part.

But she's looking forward to Canada. She and Thor, Steve, and Clint are going to go to see Niagara Falls. She has heard it was beautiful, and she has seen the pictures. She has high expectations.

"Are you feeling well, Natasha?" Thor asks. "You look a little pale. Thin, too."

"I'm fine," Natasha says. "I think it's just a cold."

"Are you sure, Nat?" Steve puts his hand on her forehead. "You're cold."

"I'm fine," she emphasizes. "Don't worry about me. Go back to watching your movie."

She excuses herself to go to the bathroom and gulps down her medication. She grips onto the edge of the sink as the turbulence of the plane makes her nauseous.

When the plane lands, they take a cab to their cabin and then hike their way up to the waterfall. By the end of it, Natasha is exhausted and her legs feel like they're about to fall off, but she tries not to show it. Looking up, she everything in. Niagara Falls is beautiful. The splashing of water is deafening, but it's harmonic.

"This is a very beautiful place," Thor booms over the splashes. "I have never seen such a place, even on Asgard."

Steve is looking up silently, wonder struck, and Clint is taking pictures to send to Laura. Natasha smiles contently as she studies the undulated joy on her friends' faces. It's more beautiful than the waterfall itself.

Later, they play Uno in the cabin. Thor doesn't know how to play, and will set down unrelated cards. Clint hisses at him (he has no restraint on his competitiveness when it comes to board games) and takes his revenge in the next round, setting down plus four cards the god doesn't know how to counter. Thor pouts when he loses, but vows to win the next time they play.

"God, I love you guys," Natasha says in a light tone, but wraps a tight arm around Steve's torso.

He looks a bit confused at Natasha's sudden show of affection, but Thor just looks at her with what looks like understanding. She doesn't quite know what Thor is understanding, but strangely, she isn't worried.

_week six_

Natasha spends her last week in the Avengers compound. Her body is much to frail now and any physical strain makes her collapse in fatigue.

She spends most of her late mornings in the lounge with Bruce, chatting with him as he works on a new project. She takes turns joining Steve, Tony, and Thor for lunch. Then, she spends her afternoons with Clint. They do something different each day, but mostly, they just enjoy each other's company.

Evenings are times for herself. She sits alone on the roof and thinks. She thinks about herself, her family, her friends. She thinks about death, and life. The roof is too cold for her, but she ignores her body's pleads and sits there anyway. She shivers, even under a blanket, and she watches the sunset. 

_week seven_

Everyone asks Natasha if she's okay.

She's not, but she tells them otherwise. She looks very obviously sick now. Her cheekbones are protruding and all of the muscle is gone from her body. She is as pale as flour and her entire body is in pain. She throws up much too often and her immune system is shutting down. Her friends are worried. She tells them she has the flu. They don't believe her, but they don't demand answers, because they're under the impression that she'll be alright in a few weeks. Only she knows the truth. She doesn't have time left to give.

Natasha goes around the compound, looking for everyone. And to everyone's surprise, she hugs them. One by one. Tight, warm hugs. Well, as tight as she can manage, anyway. Then she leaves without any explanation.

She sees everyone's worried expressions, but she tries hard to forget them. It's better this way — to not know. It has spared them an entire seven weeks of pain.

That night, she goes to bed early in her favorite dress. It's a forest green color that complements her flaming red hair. Clint had bought for her last year, after a lot of pestering. She looks up at the ceiling in pain. An hour later, she lets a tear roll down her face. Ten minutes later, she takes her last breath.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading!
> 
> my [tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/inner-egg-pong)!


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